Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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