Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
