Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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