I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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