I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
