i just had sex bonerless
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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