I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
