so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
