you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize