Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Actions speak louder than pants.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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