I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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