Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
