Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
