I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
