He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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