He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
