Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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