I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
