Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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