Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
