I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
