More tranny stories later!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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