Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it glows. i had to have it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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