And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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