I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
