You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
