just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
