Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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