you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups