In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?