just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
