I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pants are for mortals
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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