Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i have two assholes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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