I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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