is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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