What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
