the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
