Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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