dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
