I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
