and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dick very happy bro
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
