I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
