just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize