The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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