Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
