I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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