i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
