dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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