I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
