Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
