went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
