Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I deserve this hangover.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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