My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
