His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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