We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
