Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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