After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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