Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
