I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
