Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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