Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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